Life Is A Bunch of Clichés
by Scarlet Alapaap
Summary: The universe must be punishing her, Tashigi thinks. Because after two years of not seeing her estranged ex-husband, he stands before her, holding her hand and stopping her fall. AU
1. When Life Throws You Lemons, It Hurts

I am alive, and back with a new story starring our favourite (star-crossed) couple! T~T

* * *

 **Chapter One**

 _ **When Life Throws You Lemons, It Really Hurts**_

She isn't really the type who drinks (if anything, she can't hold her liquor well and the scent of beer is enough to make her feel nauseated), but just tonight, she allows herself to "loosen up," like what most of her colleagues tell her on occasion. So here she is, at the far end of the bar table, browsing her email with her mobile phone as she waits for her drink to be served.

Tashigi thought about tagging some of her friends from work along, but just thinking about the mindless chatter she has to sit through and the countless drinks everyone will consume because of happy hour already makes her feel exhausted. Besides, it's always nice to have some time alone given the nature of her work. Human interaction, in the classroom, and even more inside the department office can be pretty tiring, too. Not that she hates people—she loves them; she just needs to recharge after a long day of lectures, reading papers, and writing reports she's sure her supervisor doesn't even bother reading. She rolls her eyes at the amount of work she does only to receive little attention.

A glass of ice cold mojito is pushed to her direction. Tashigi rewards the bartender with a small smile and goes back to reading her emails, her phone's backlight illuminating her pale face. Her phone rings and a photo of a young lady flashes on the screen. It is Nami, her daughter's babysitter for the late afternoon.

"Hello, Nami," she greets with little enthusiam in her tone, "is everything alright?"

" _Mhm,"_ the young lady replies, _"but Yuuhi has been looking for you for quite some time now. Here she is."_

She hears some shuffling from the other line, a tired smile painted on her lips as she anticipates hearing the cheery tone of her daughter.

" _Hello, mami,"_ a soft, high pitched voice rings in her ear, _"what time will you be home tonight? You already missed dinner."_

Tashigi breaks into a grin at the sound of Yuuhi's voice. "Hi, darling. Mami will be home a little later than usual, okay? Don't worry about dinner; mami already ate hers from the convenient store across the university," she tells her kid. "Did you give Miss Nami a hard time?"

" _I did not! I've been a good kid like I promised!"_ Tashigi imagines her daughter pouting, face scrunching and nose crinkling. She holds her chuckle.

"Yeah, you should keep your promise. After all, promises are supposed to be kept, right? Anyway, mami is just out doing something so I have to say goodbye now or I'll be home even later."

" _Okay,"_ Yuuhi agrees, defeat laced in her tone, and this makes her heart ache a little.

" _Hey,"_ the voice belongs to Nami now, and in the background she can hear her munching on something. Tashigi secretly prays she didn't touch her secret stash of chocolate with almonds in it. _"Why are you still out? That's very rare."_

The young lady sighs and reaches out for her cold drink. "Well, I'm... out for some drinks."

" _Drinks? But I thought you don't drink?"_

"Yeah, I don't. But tonight is an exception, I guess?"

She hears Nami hum. _"Bad day in the office, I'm guessing?"_

Tashigi shakes her head. "Not really, but it's been a long day for me. I guess I just want to take my mind off things? I don't know."

" _Hm, sounds acceptable. Are you sure you're fine, though? I can go there and leave Yuuhi to my sister, if you need a friend."_

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm really fine, Nami. Thanks for the concern, too. I just need this time for myself. I'm really sorry you have to extend your stay at my house."

Nami chuckles. _"No sweat, Tashigi! I know you'll pay me extra anyway."_

Tashigi snorts and rolls her eyes. Typical Nami. She smirks. "Of course, I will. And maybe next time, I'll take you on your offer, though don't count on it happening anytime soon. I'm pretty bad at drinking."

" _Yes, yes. I'll hang up now. Go and enjoy your alone time. I'll put Yuuhi to sleep in a little while. Bye, Tashigi!"_ she doesn't even wait for her to say goodbye and the line was cut. Typical Nami. Tashigi slips her phone inside her bag and proceeds to drink her mojito.

A lot of things can happen in a year, that Tashigi knows, which means there are even more things that can happen in six years: like getting her degree, working as a head researcher, shifting careers to teaching in the university, and then marriage. Marriage is something she didn't think she'd get into until she met him—the love of her life—while she was on fieldwork. He is anything but congenial and eloquent, but he gets things done and he has this air around him that makes you feel he can be trusted with your life. He isn't bad in the eyes either, which she thinks is just a bonus among the other admirable characteristics that she found in him (even if things were pretty uphill between them the first few days they worked together). Thinking about it now, she finds it strange how she fell in love with this brute while working, and even stranger how this brute seemed to reciprocate her feelings. But she isn't in the position to be choosy, and it'd be a lie if she convinced herself that she isn't harbouring any strong feelings for this guy. They dated for three months, became a couple for a good eight months, and before the year ended, he proposed to her nonchalantly—no elaborate setups or even hidden cameras to document their engagement; just the ocean, the stars, and them.

His name is Zoro. He is a research assistant when they met, and is still a research assistant under Koshiro. Hard to believe but they were in love. _Madly_. A year after they sealed the deal, she gives birth to Yuuhi, now 6. They were a happy family. _**Were.**_

Now 32, Tashigi is divorced, owns custody to their daughter, and harried and stressed from all the work she needs to accomplish as an associate professor. Where have the years gone? She often asks herself every time she is left on her own, especially in those cold, quiet nights in her bedroom (before it used to be _their_ bedroom). Sometimes she can't sleep so she goes to the kitchen and drinks a cup of warm milk to get her sleepy, and sometimes she is overcome and overwhelmed by too many thoughts and feelings that she bursts into tears and cries herself to sleep. _Where have the years gone?_

She hasn't seen a trace of her estranged husband since they divorced. Never even heard anything from the guy, and this used to make her stomach churn and her chest hurt for quite some time until she had gotten used to his absence. Yuuhi seems to be faring better than she did, though she notices that she's a lot more detached than most of the kids her age. It's as if their daughter was forced to cope at her age, and detachment happens to be the most convenient defense mechanism for her. This actually makes her stay up late at night, only to cry some more just because Tashigi feels guilty for the most part. Maybe if she isn't too caught up with her ambition or maybe if she allowed Zoro in every aspect of her life, perhaps Zoro would still be with them, Yuuhi would be cheerful like she used to be, and she wouldn't be spending most of her sleeping time mulling about the past over and over again, weeping, and blaming herself in secret.

The young lady snickers and shakes her head at that thought. There really isn't any use thinking of such things. Zoro is gone. The family she dreams of having is gone. Pretty soon, the life that she's worked hard for might be gone if she doesn't get it together.

But tonight, Tashigi allows herself to just be and drink. Mojito tastes nice, after all. So much better than the beers that her ex-husband favours, to be honest. It doesn't smell nauseating, too.

Interestingly, she strongly disagrees with Zoro's drinking habits no matter if he holds his liquor well, but look at her at this moment, red cheeks, sleepy eyes, and a hazy mind.

"How ironic," she whispers to herself as she wipes her lips with a napkin. She leaves her payment and a tip beside her empty glass and prepares to head home. She calls the attention of the bartender and points at her bill before standing up form the stool to leave.

Feeling a little woozy ('It was just one _freaking_ glass,' she berates herself), she accidentally trips on one of the legs of a bar stool that isn't properly returned under the bar table, but she manages to reach out for something to stop her fall.

It's someone's hand, her mind registers, but there's something oddly familiar about it.

Tashigi looks up, smile and apology at the ready, only to have her voice caught in her throat. Her eyes widen in shock and disbelief. Of all the people she ends up tripping in front of, it has to be ex-husband.

The universe must be punishing her.

* * *

So hello, everyone in the ZoTash community (do we still have some ZoTash shippers here? I hope so)! And please forgive me for not updating _Quite Unlikely_ and _What Did We Get Ourselves Into_ like I should have done months ago (or in the case of the former, a year ago), if you've been following my story fr some time.

I'll give you a quick update about those two stories: I won't be updating _Quite Unlikely_ anymore, but _What Did We Get Ourselves Into_ is still ongoing (I've written an outline for Chapters 4-7 already!) but won't be updated in two more months. The former might go on a total makeover or something, or I might just delete the whole story, but it's more likely that I'll rewrite the whole thing with a better plot, I guess? I mean, let's face it; it doesn't really have much going on, and it's been dragged on for so long that I honestly don't know what to do with it anymore. Yup.

So anyway, here's a new story I just thought of last night (because I drank two glasses of iced coffee ), with a different writing style (sort of), loaded with more drama than comedy, which I'm more accustomed to, and much shorter than my usual stories (to make sure that I actually finish writing them, haha). And yes! It's _**romance!**_

Thank you for reading, and please tell me what you think in the reviews! It'll help tons! :D


	2. The Earth Is Round

I'm honestly overwhelmed that there are still ZoTash shippers out there (since it's been a while since we last saw them interacting, and Tashigi in the series), and really happy that my story has been received well, so far (I take that receiving reviews and follows is a sign?). :D It warms my heart! Really quick update (like this story was just posted yesterday hahaha), which is new because knowing my track record, I have a tendency to forget to update on time. But I have finished writing the next chapter, so I might as well update before I even forget at all. And I might as well get this done before my thesis demands much of my time hohoho.

To **Algunkenshi** (since I can't send you a PM): Hey! It's okay hahaha! Thanks for pointing that out, too. :D Please continue to look forward to this story!

Here's another chapter! I kinda feel like it drips with too much drama and desperation, but tell me what you think! :D Thank you so much!

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

 _ **The Earth is Definitely Round and Anyone Who Disagrees Can Go Home**_

They find themselves sitting on a park bench in the middle of a dimly lit park across the bay. Tashigi shoots the man an intrigued look from the side. He doesn't notice this because his eyes are fixed on the ground, and his fingers are fumbling the hem of his white polo. Typical Zoro, she smirks. _'Seems like there are things that haven't changed, huh?'_ She ponders as she stares ahead, squinting as she makes sense of their surroundings.

She doesn't know why he's here with her when he could've stayed at the bar and drink himself to oblivion or slumber or something, but he's here. She actually wants to make sure that she isn't seeing things, that this isn't alcohol (which is crazy because she only had one glass), and that, yes, this is Zoro, in the flesh and very much alive and well. She reaches her hand tentatively but decides not to proceed because she's unsure of how he's going to react, or if he's even going to react at all.

"I didn't know you're just around the area." She begins. All the time she's the first one to speak when it comes to this man.

Zoro finally looks up from the ground and to her, but fingers never left his shirt. "I just arrived here three hours ago."

She sighs and smiles. "Work?"

He nods, and then his eyes were glued on the ground again. "Koshiro is here, too."

"Of course," she agrees softly, "he's your boss."

It's small and almost unrecognizable, but Tashigi can tell that Zoro's smiling at the moment as he nods.

If the air around them isn't thick, and if there isn't any tension clouding them, the woman would have allowed herself to chuckle in amusement. It's hilarious to think how silence has always come easy for them with Zoro being reserved by nature, but this isn't the kind of quiet that she finds comforting. It is heavy, it is gloomy, and it's almost suffocating. It doesn't help that it's just the two of them here, with no distractions of any sort. The sound of the ocean crashing on the bay isn't even enough to drown the growing air of awkwardness embracing them. Someone has to do something, she tells herself, and she braces for another round of contrived pleasantries but the man beats her to it.

"How's... everything with you?"

' _Everything with me?'_ she repeats in her mind, _'you really mean to ask me that right now, huh?'_ Tashigi rolls her eyes and snorts. "Peachy. What about you?"

Zoro doesn't answer immediately (but he usually doesn't answer immediately, she reminds herself). She sees him frowning slightly and he seems to be in deep thought (which he usually is, she reminds herself). She can't tell what it is, but she's certain his mind is churning.

"How's Yuuhi?" he doesn't answer, and this nearly irritates her because he always tells her what's wrong, and what he's thinking. Perhaps something changed about him in the two years that they've separated?

But she tells herself to chill. Tashigi breathes in, and breathes out, and stops when she feels the thumping in her chest even. She looks at him and forces a grin on her lips before replying. "She's in Grade 1 now, and she seems to be enjoying school for someone her age."

He chuckles lightly (and oh, how she misses that sound). "I guess she got that from you."

The lady snorts. "Well, she got her perpetual emotionless look from you. She has to get something from me, too."

She wills herself not to lose it when she sees the fond smile on his face—something that she also misses, she daresay—when he hears about their daughter. It's almost endearing; _almost_ because they aren't together anymore, and he's not supposed to be endearing in anyway because he's not her husband anymore. Right now it feels like her chest's been hacked several times and left in the road to bleed.

* * *

Somehow he still follows her on her way home (previously _their_ home), but this time, Zoro is able to walk in step with her. The silence that sits between them isn't as heavy and as crusty as before, but they are still an arm away from each other, and Tashigi hasn't reached out to make sure that she's not just imagining this whole thing. She doesn't feel woozy anymore, too. Maybe she sweated the alcohol out of her system an hour ago with all the brisk walking and nerves she put herself to.

With all honesty, she really wants to find more about him. Has he been eating healthily like he's supposed to? Has his alcohol intake minimized or even got worse after they called it quits? Has he been sleeping well and getting enough rest (unlike her who's gotten used to tossing, turning, and weeping in the dead hours of the day)? How is he dealing with their divorce? Is he seeing someone else now (and this makes her chest constrict, much to her shock)? Has he fathered another child (the chest constrictions are back again)? She shakes her head as discreetly as possible to rid her mind of such thoughts, and decides to talk some more before he's gone again.

"What really brings you here?" Not exactly on top of the list of her questions, but she really wants to know this, too.

He doesn't say anything instantly again. He frowns instead and clears his throat. "Koshiro and the rest of our team will be here for a while because we'll be implementing his research in several universities around the area."

"Oh? Research on what?"

"Student attitude towards their elective classes in the tertiary level. Each of us are assigned a university to gather data from."

The lady nods her head. "Which university are you assigned to?"

She sees his face fall for a moment before it returns to his usual unperturbed expression. Tashigi cocks an eyebrow, telling him to answer (like she always does when they get into petty arguments before).

Zoro's eyes shift from his leather shoes to her eyes, and his fingers are once again fumbling. She nods her head once, a sign that impatience is starting to take over her (which usually happens when Zoro doesn't want to talk about their issues every time they fight).

He sighs loudly and closes his eyes. "I'm assigned at your university."

"Oh." Tashigi briefly wonders if God above has forsaken her. "Uh, looking forward to working with you, I guess?"

Zoro lets out an awkward chuckle as he reaches out his hand to her. "I guess?"

But she doesn't reach for his hand. She just stares at it instead.

* * *

They are now in front of Tashigi's house, standing in front of the gate, and waiting for Nami to let her in. She hears the sound of the wooden door creak open as she spots a blur of orange approaching them from the small grills of the steel gate. The lock clicks and the gate opens, and they're greeted with a smiling Nami.

"Welcome back!" she greets her sweetly, then pales when her eyes finally saw the person standing next to the bespectacled lady. "And Zoro?!"

Said man only smiles a little and nods his head. "It's been a long time, Nami."

Nami proceeds to open the gate wider as she steps out and hands Tashigi the keys to her house. "Y-Yeah, long time indeed." And she laughs awkwardly as she alternately looked at the "couple" in front of her and started to take her leave. "Anyway, Yuuhi's asleep now, and I need to show up to work early tomorrow so, bye you two, I gotta go! Good night!"

Even before Tashigi could say good night and hand her the money, Nami is off, without even sparing a look. She sighs.

Her eyes meet his once more as she turns her attention to the man instead. "You really didn't have to walk me home, but thank you for accompanying me."

"Yeah, I didn't have to. And I left my car at the place where we're all staying. I'm sorry." He mumbles as he scratches his neck, something Tashigi knows he does when he's embarrassed. She almost chuckles.

"It's okay. I like walking anyway—" she wonders if she should even be keeping him this long when they aren't married anymore so she pauses and exhales as she grabs the handle of the gate. "Good night, Zoro."

She doesn't even wait for him to reply. She just closes the gate in front of his face and she doesn't even bother checking if the man has left immediately or if he stayed for a while or something. Half of her is disappointed that he didn't stop her from closing the gate on him, but half of her is relieved that he's not there, or any more time with him and she'll end up requesting to spend the night with him, and who knows where that may lead to (of course, she knows where it will lead to. The Lord knows she _longs_ for what it will lead to). She can't do that. They can't do that. Not anymore. And she has a daughter to go back home to. She can't just leave Yuuhi for her own, selfish sake.

* * *

She drops by her daughter's room before heading to hers. She sits on the edge of the bed and plants a kiss on her daughter's forehead. By this time, her eyes are watery, and she has no idea if her tears can wait until she's inside her bathroom for a nice, cold shower to cap the day.

"I'm sorry mami couldn't give you a nice and loving family." She whispers, and a lone tear trickles down her cheeks. Before the waterworks continue, she stands up from the bed and gently closes the door to her daughter's room. Someone's going to be spending an hour in the shower, crying, it seems.

And she does cry. She cries because she feels guilty for their family falling apart. She cries because Zoro's back, but not in her arms, or in their house, or in their life, and she doesn't realize until now that she still's not yet over the man even if they haven't seen or heard from him for two solid years. She cries because she feels pathetic for not being able to move on as she should have done so. She cries because in reality, what she really wants is someone—not just Yuuhi—to share her achievements with her. She cries because she still wants Zoro. _Badly_. Why did she have to see him again if it's only going to make things more complex for her?

She turns off the shower and takes a deep breath. The heavens must really hate her with a burning passion, she thinks as she steps out of the shower area to dry herself up. Because if it's really after her best interest, then why did they have to cross the same road again?

Screw destiny; this is the universe giving her a middle finger for being the horrible person that she is.


	3. Is This What They Call Divine Punishment

Hello! I was supposed to update earlier, but our net connection's pretty wonky lately (still wonky). Since I'm the only one using our temporary source of internet connection, I jumped on the chance to update this. Anyway, here's chapter three!

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

 _ **Is This What They Call Divine Punishment?**_

So maybe God hasn't really forsaken her, Tashigi thinks as she climbs a flight of stairs inside an all-too-familiar office. Just a week ago, her counsellor texted her that she's back from her leave, and asked her if she still wants to continue their sessions after her sabbatical. Tashigi replies a few seconds later with a desperate yes. She needs all the help she can get.

Miss Robin is a wonderful person. When her marriage was nearing separation, Nami referred her to Robin, who happens to be a good friend of the former. There's something about Robin that Tashigi finds comforting, like her calm persona, her kind smiles, and her gentle prodding each time she spaces out or gets too chatty during counselling. Part of the reason why she hasn't gone cuckoo in life is because of their counselling sessions, and the fact that the lady feels safe around Robin.

Tashigi knocks before turning the knob and opening the door slowly. Her eyes roam to check if her counsellor is doing anything and finds her unoccupied. She sees her smiling, sitting on her usual seat behind her big desk, and beckoning her to sit on the couch like always. She opens the door completely and greets Robin curtly before settling on her usual place. Robin rolls her office chair in front of her and sits down.

"It's been a while, Miss Tashigi. How are you faring?"

The lady leans comfortably on the couch and sighs contentedly. She flashes a lopsided grin before replying. "Well, a lot better than the first few months of my divorce. Oh, and my ex is back."

Robin usually wears a neutral expression for the whole hour, but this time, her brows furrow and her lips purse a little at the word, 'ex.' "Go on."

Tashigi's hands find her face as she cups her cheeks and shakes her head. "I thought I was pretty okay with the whole thing since it's been two solid years since we've seen or talked to each other. Yuuhi doesn't cry as much anymore, and I've been sleeping pretty easy for the past few months, but when I saw him a few days ago," she pauses, willing her eyes not to water and her voice not to falter. She sighs and looks at her counsellor in the eye. "Miss Robin, it seems like the wound opened again."

The woman doesn't say anything. She only nods once, and from the dynamics of their sessions, Tashigi knows it's her cue to speak some more.

"I thought that I'd be fine and dandy as time progresses, but it seems like I'm still very much affected with our divorce. And this sounds so terrible and crazy and silly and _so not me_ , but _he was my first love._ _ **My first love.**_ I never thought about marriage or love or any of those sort _until_ Zoro. But we're not together anymore. And the worst part is, I'm hurting _again_ because I'm the one who was so strong about breaking up, thinking it was _for the best_ , some shit like that," she groans as she rests her forehead on her palm. "I hate myself _again_ and even more this time!"

She feels a hand on her left knee. "You're being irrational again, Miss Tashigi."

And just like that, she calms down, her breathing evens, and her chest feels light. Tashigi breathes in deeply and slowly releases her breath, allowing all of her body to relax, just like how she was told to do when engulfed by intense feelings. She's honestly amazed that she doesn't have hypertension given the number of times she gets easily affected and riled up, especially since the divorce.

Tashigi closes and opens her palms slowly and repeatedly to make sure that she's finally calmed down and relaxed before proceeding. "Sometimes I wonder if I just gave up easily when I told him that I'm filing for a divorce. But then sometimes I'm convinced that what we decided was the best for us. Even so, I still find myself revisiting the moment we both just raised the white flag and ponder of the many ways I could've saved our marriage."

"But didn't he agree with going through divorce?"

The lady nods. "I do feel that he'd have insisted not to go through it, though. I still remember how he almost looked lost or something when I insisted it was for the best just because we've been arguing and disagreeing more than usual." She snickers humorlessly. "But I was so strong about pushing through with it because I couldn't stand that kind of life on a regular basis. God knows how bad it could've gotten if we didn't even break up."

Tashigi covers her face with her hands again, something she does when she's on the verge of anger and crying (as pointed out by her counselor). "But here I am, a mess after seeing Zoro unexpectedly. And I was convinced I was already okay."

Robin nods slowly in understanding. "From what I'm hearing, what I'm getting is that you still have feelings for your ex because—like you did say a while ago—he was your first love. I can see how strong his effect is on you, the way you are mourning for the loss of your marriage. I wonder, though, if there's something more to him being your first love and your ex-husband that makes seeing him after a long time painful than it should have? Considering you've been separated for two years now, you still sound so invested with the relationship."

' _Because I still care,'_ is what she wants to say, but her words are lodged in her throat. Somehow, admitting it openly sounds almost unappealing to her just because it means she's acknowledging how wrong her judgments were, and she feels pathetic not having gotten over someone who seems to be fine without his family. _Without her_. Pathetic.

So she settles for an "I don't know. I guess I didn't really realize that I'm still hurting because I've been spending so much time at work" instead.

Her counsellor's face is expressionless once more, but there's a ghost of a smile on her lips. "We'll talk more about this when you're ready."

* * *

It's already dark when she's finished with counselling. Her chest feels a little lighter and her head's a little clearer than a few hours ago, much thanks to their session. She learns that there are things that she still finds awkward to talk about (like her feelings, for one), but Miss Robin's been patient with her in spite of her stubbornness. Usually, someone would've give up on her at this point, but not her counsellor. And Tashigi's sure that it's not because she's paid to listen and to be patient, but because Robin actually cares for her well-being.

She mentally counts the number of friends she can think of at the moment whom she can share intimate details about her life and finds only a handful. There's Nami (who ironically is a friend of Zoro's before becoming her friend), the cafeteria lady in the university who reserves a meal for her each day, Sanji (who happens to be Zoro's best man during their wedding, and only when he's behaved because he's around his then fiancé, now wife), and Zoro... if he's still even a friend. Though Miss Hina and Sir Smoker do check on her every now and then, the fact that they're her bosses (department chair and secretary, respectively) makes her uncomfortable sharing all her woes and every tiny morbid detail of her sad life. That's just _too friendly_ for a boss-subordinate type of dynamic.

She sighs and smirks at how terrible her social situation is. She realizes that she doesn't really make as much friends as Zoro does (and to think she's more approachable between them and less threatening) because she's _too professional, too ambitious, too career-oriented._ In summary, she's just too much, and it doesn't make her feel even better.

Oh this never-ending cycle of self-loving and self-loathing is really wearing her out.

Tashigi enters an empty chapel where her feet had led her in the midst of pondering and sits on the pew that's nearest the exit. For some reason, it's become a habit of hers to go to this particular chapel during ugly days (just like now), which is strange since she's not really very religious to begin with. It's not even a question whether she believes in God or gods or none at all, but it's more of like she hasn't been practicing faith at all. This ritual began ever since Nami invited her to church one time and join this bible study thing that she goes to every Wednesday night (she knows because she makes it a point not to ask Nami to babysit Yuuhi on Wednesday nights because of it). Somehow she got roped in without much resistance on her end, and now she's here.

"I hope you don't think I'm too much for you, too," she says to no person in particular. She's gotten used to saying her prayers aloud somehow, but she mostly only does this when she's by herself. "I'll be really sad if you did. But if you do, I guess I can't blame you. I mean, I'm alone... and lonely because I can't _just settle for something good_. I... refuse to meet anybody in the middle, I care so much about my goals that I'm hurting people in the process, and now it's come to this." She pauses to still the growing ache in her chest before continuing. "Please tell me you don't hate me, God." She whispers, desperation laced in her tone. "I'm already so, so lonely."

* * *

She makes sure she looks presentable before stepping outside the chapel. After all, teachers and professors are expected to look their best no matter how dire the circumstances have become. With one last look at the mirror and making sure that her face was all dry, Tashigi marches out of the chapel's washroom wearing her best rehearsed look of professionalism (eyes to the front, back straight, long, confident strides, and chin up).

Only to hit smack on someone's chest the moment she exits the chapel. Classic Tashigi.

"I'm so sorry!" she quickly apologizes as she fixes her askewed glasses in place. "My head was som—"

She stops because right in front of her stands Zoro, in his glorious exercise wear of just a white shirt and a pair of shorts.

' _I thought I begged you not to hate me, God.'_ She whined mentally. _'What's this about?'_

"Oh, I, uh, it's okay? You've always been like that anyway." Zoro dismisses with mirth. "So, you go to church now?"

Tashigi's eyes follow where his finger is pointing and nods. "Nami invited me."

He smirks. "You were not religious when I met you."

She frowns. "You aren't a champion in religion, too, when I met you," she retorts, but her voice is without venom. "Besides, I wasn't practicing then, but I did grow up in a religious family."

Silence befalls them as always, the kind that makes one wish for the ground to swallow them or for something majestic and out-of-the-ordinary to take place for things to be alive again. She knows that Zoro's staring at her right now, and she keeps herself from meeting his eyes, in fear of anything she may see (or may not see). His gaze is heavy, as it's always been, whether he's looking out for her, wants her, or mad at her. Right now, it's a different kind of weight that his stare carries, and Tashigi realizes that there are still some things that she doesn't know about Zoro, like what exactly is he thinking right now and why is he looking at her like that.

"I, have to go now." She tells him and motions for him to step aside to give way to her.

But he doesn't move and instead reaches for her arm and holds it (gently, like she likes it). "Do you really have to go now?"

"Yes. Yuuhi's waiting for me. And I have to cook our dinner." She replies with firmness and finality.

She watches as his face falls (just like the last time they saw each other and were alone), frown marring his handsome face. "Okay then. But... can I walk you home?"

Walk her home? They're supposed to be divorced, not friendly! Tashigi gingerly removes his hand from her arm and sighs. "No need for that. I'm going. Bye, Zoro."

"Wait—"

But she's already a few steps away, thanks to her long strides. Tashigi doesn't even spare him a look as she continues to cross the road.


	4. This Isn't Funny

Hello! :D Another update while our temporary net connection's doing its job! :D Thank you for the reviews, the follows, and the favourites! :D From this chpater on, brace yourself for more drama and a little bit of fluff inserted in between!

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

 _ **If This Is Your Idea of Funny, Then You're Some Sick Bastard!**_

Tashigi turns her computer off and leans on her office chair's backseat. Her back hurts a bit from sitting to long, and her hands aren't faring well either. She's been encoding her students' grades in time for the end of the semester and has been writing her reports since her break this afternoon almost nonstop. If her colleague hadn't reminded her of lunch time, she might've missed it. But at least she's done with all the paperworks they need to pass, and that way, she can come home earlier than usual, and maybe even pick Yuuhi up from school like the old days. Her daughter will probably like that.

She looks at her wall clock and is surprised to find that she just passed the 12-hour mark of being outside the house. She left the house at 6 in the morning to bring Yuuhi to school, and now she's leaving her workplace at 6 in the evening. She's never been this inattentive to time even during her periods of enthusiasm when working on a project or conducting an interesting educational research. Ever since Yuuhi was born, she's always been sensitive to time so as not to keep the kid to fend for herself. The lady immediately fishes for her phone inside her bag and sees a barrage of calls and messages from Nami with the last message sent thirty minutes ago. She swipes her screen and begins to read them all.

 **Today. 3:30PM**

" _What time will you be home? I'm already fixing Yuuhi some snacks so if you're on way here and thinking of buying some on the way, you don't have to. :)"_

 **Today. 4:28PM**

" _I'm guessing it's OT again? Yuuhi's already asking me if you're on your way home, but you're not replying. Anyway, my sister and I are meeting some old friends from our hometown at 6:30, and I still have to buy food for everyone (because we all know Nojiko can't cook to save a life) because she'll be home at exactly 6:30. She'll pick up our friends from the bus station. I can't leave Yuuhi here, ya know."_

 **Today. 5:13PM**

" _You're probably going to kill me, but I brought Yuuhi with me to the store, and promised her a bowl of ice cream with sprinkles and some caramel syrup for desserts later. I told you; I can't just leave her alone. And answer your phone if you have time."_

 **Today. 5:30PM**

" _I'm guessing you're really busy for ignoring my texts and calls. Anyway, just telling you that Yuuhi's with us, so no need to worry if you're coming home late and you don't see us. :x_

 _P.S. This isn't kidnap okay. This is me, being a responsible adult. And of course, you have to pay me extra! :x"_

"Oh good lord," she mutters as she checks her missed calls and sees 6 missed calls from Nami. She hurriedly types her reply after. At least Nami has the mind to keep her daughter in her watch (and to remind her to pay her extra for the extended services). But she really can't complain right now, and Nami's been a treasure especially when things were beginning to get cloudy on her side of the world.

After another fifteen minutes of putting her papers in a neat file, arranging the other trinkets on her desk, and double-checking if all the electonic gadgets and appliances are turned off, Tashigi turns off the lights and proceeds to college lobby. That's when she hears the thunders roar and the skies rumble.

"But it's in the middle of summer!" she hisses as she looks and feels inside her bag for her umbrella.

When she feels none, she marches back to their area faculty room, and searches for a spare umbrella among her things, but all she found are a pair of heels, an extra canvas bag for bringing some of the papers home for checking, and her stash of jasmine tea. What a time to be alive!

She sighs in defeat as she rearranges her. Looks like she's going to have to wait this out in the building. And if this summer rain persists, then she guessed she'd just go back to the office and work again, then go home early in the morning. She can text Nami to let Yuuhi stay with them for the night, since she'll be paying her extra anyway and it is Saturday tomorrow, which means Yuuhi has no school. So she does so before leaving the room the second time.

On the way to the lobby, she manages to catch a glimpse of green hair coming out of the men's room. Tashigi's eyes widen and her entire body stiffens, but she recovers from the surprise immediately. She hopes he doesn't notice her (even though it'll be impossible not to notice her since the others have left a long time ago already), but Murphy's Law is always bound to kick in at the worst possible times. She trips on the loose rubbered edge of one of the five steps leading to the lobby as she hurries, sending her to the floor with a loud thump. She can hear footfalls approaching, and she hopes that she finds the guard standing in front of her.

But with her current streak of misfortune, this can only mean one thing.

"Didn't they tell you to watch your step all the time when climbing up and down the stairs?"

Tashigi doesn't even need to look for her glasses to know the owner of the voice and the one whose hand is on her shoulder belongs to. The voice is all too familiar.

"Ma'am, what happened here?"

The lady replaces her glasses and looks up at the guard. "Believe it or not, I'm okay. I just tripped on the stairs, that's all. Nothing to worry about, haha!" she tells him, but what she really wants to do is to strangle him and yell at him for coming to her aid only after her ex-husband came running to her side. "Don't worry, sir. I'll be able to walk on the way home."

Just this time, she allows Zoro to touch her (again), and lets him drag her up to her feet (like the many time he does whenever she trips or falls), strong arms supporting her equally strong frame (from working out together on weekends) as she gets to her feet. She feels a little strain on her left ankle, but she dismisses it and hopes the pain will subside by tomorrow. The guard leaves shortly, but with worry etched on his face.

Zoro hasn't let her go yet, and this is something he usually does after assisting her. Old habits die hard, perhaps?

"I'm okay now," she reassures him, once again peeling of his hands on her arms. "And I'm going home."

So Zoro releases his hold carefully. Tashigi silently thanks him for not keeping her long like the last time. But then she turns round and her legs immediately give away. Her body hitting the floor doesn't come, though, for the man was able to catch her.

She waits for him to chide her or even tease her for lacking grace and finesse, but it also doesn't come. Instead, she finds herself being lifted off the ground, bridal carry style, and being enveloped by the homey warmth that she used to go home to at the end of a long day. Her chest begins to constrict again as memories of being carried by Zoro (she misses this, but won't say out loud) floods her head in insane amounts (because when they used to stroll by the park, he would often just carry her, much to her delight and embarrassment, and he would keep that up until they found their usual seat by the bay to watch the sunset).

"Put me down." She weakly protests. "And I need to get my bag."

So he puts her down slowly, but her feet haven't even touched the ground when she's in his arms again (technically, she hasn't left).

"There, I got it for you." He quips and then he starts to walk to the exit like everything is normal.

Tashigi shoots him a mortified look. "Zoro! I told you to put me down!" She hisses, because if she yells, they'll be too noisy, and she really doesn't want to bother the poor guard with one of their silly dramas.

But Zoro doesn't budge. He doesn't even flinch when she swung her legs violently in the hopes of reaching the ground. He just adjusted his hold on her and doesn't even say anything.

"Hey, sir. Can you help us get to my car? I can't reach for my umbrella right now, so can we borrow you and your umbrella on the way to the parking area?"

This time she grabs his chin and forces him to face her. "Where the hell are you taking me, Zoro?"

He grins. "Home."


	5. It's Just One Cliché After Another

Last chapter was really short, so here's the next chapter! More ZoTash moments for your ZoTash needs. :D Thank you so much for reading this story! We're halfway through the story. Are you excited? I am excited! Hohoho!

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

 _ **It's Just Really One Cliché After Another, Huh?**_

Nobody has spoken since they left the university grounds, and it's honestly beginning to unnerve her. Five minutes into the ride, all Tashigi wants to do is to get out of the car, but her ankle is throbbing, and she doesn't want to go home all drenched and sloppy. She knows that if anything, she has to be grateful that Zoro happened to come across her on his way home. But the problem is, he's the very person she doesn't want to see or even be stuck in a room with for even a fraction of a second; he's her ex-husband after all (emphasis on ex). This is only making things more confusing and awkward for them, on her side mostly.

The heavy and tensed atmosphere inside the vehicle is a stark constrast to the lively streets outside. Despite the unwelcome shower, people are still coming in and out of karaoke bars, and food stalls are still pooling with customers. The lights from small establishments are blaring, and Tashigi squints as she busies herself with watching the merriment from the passenger seat. She silently prays for this ride to be over and done as soon as possible.

"How's your ankle?"

Zoro's baritone wakes her from her drifting. She steals a quick glance at her left foot and faintly spots it swelling. It's probably an ugly shade of purple by now.

"Bad," she murmurs as she tries to lift it up only to wince immediately.

Zoro doesn't miss her hiss as his head abruptly turns to her, concern written on his face. "We should take a look at that when we reach the house." He states with finality, which startles her a bit.

Tashigi rolls her eyes. "I'll take care of it once I reach the house. You don't need to do anything or something."

His eyes are on the road again. He huffs. "You can't even stand for two seconds. It's okay. I'm planning to stay up late anyway, so staying for a while won't really matter much."

' _Don't you get it? I don't want you around me,'_ is what she wants to scream, but she keeps quiet instead, and shrugs her shoulders. Well, knowing Zoro, once he tells you something with surety, he'll definitely follow through with it. It's both poison and cure. Really.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." She says a few beats later as she crosses her arms over her chest and frowns. Okay, she'll let him have his way just _this_ night.

* * *

Twenty-five minutes into the ride, Zoro's car suddenly stops in the middle of a quiet and empty road. The rain hasn't stopped, and it doesn't seem to show any indication that it'll be stopping soon. Tashigi tries to hide her frustrated groan as the man repeatedly turns the ignition in the hopes of starting the car again.

"It seems like your battery's dead," she tells him as she points at the icon blinking on the dashboard.

The man looks at where she's pointing and sighs in defeat. "I knew I should've had it changed last weekend."

She tries not to chuckle. It seems like Zoro still puts some errands the last minute. It used to be a topic of their fights, too.

"The house is only five minutes away anyway. I guess I can wobble on my way home." Tashigi starts to claim her things when she feels his hand stopping her. She shoots him a puzzled look.

"You stay here, I'll push the car all the way there," comes his ambitious reply. Classic Zoro.

"Are you out of your head?"

He doesn't retort. He simply opens the door and leaves the driver's seat. In a few seconds, she can feel the vehicle moving slowly along the street. She knows she should be shocked to her bones, but this is Zoro, strong and mighty. She can't just discount the six years they've been together, enough for her to get used to his antics, however weird or funny they are.

She rolls the window down (which isn't a good idea because she's greeted with rain as soon as she leans her head out to look at him). "Hey!" she tries to make her voice louder to keep it from being drowned by the sound of rain hitting the road and the car. "Do you need help?"

The man stops pushing and looks up. "Can you even help me at your state?"

Normally, she'd be insulted by that kind of remark, but he has a point; she's sort of broken right now. She'll only be a liability. So she rolls the windows up and settles on her nearly soaked seat, hoping this would be over as soon as possible so that she can get home, change to a fresh pair of clothes, and force herself to sleep before the angry thoughts come rushing again.

* * *

The five-minute distance took double to reach the gate. Zoro's probably tired from all the pushing and putting up with the deluge, she thinks. Tashigi decides to honour his chivalry (just tonight) and lets him inside the house. The car is now parked in the garage—like it used to—and will remain there until the spare battery is delivered to her doorstep. Zoro's inside the bathroom (it used to be _their_ bathroom) at the moment, so Tashigi uses this time to cook dinner for them. Fortunately, she still has some of his clothes with her in her closet (the ones she secretly stole from his set because she likes the way it hugged her form).

"Just like the old times," she whispers to herself as she rummages for ingredients inside the fridge. It's not even a question of misogyny; Tashigi is a decent cook, and Zoro's only good at slicing and dicing the ingredients. The first time he tried to feed her with his cooking (because she was too tired to function), she vowed never to overwork herself in the name of eating edible and _tasty_ food.

She briefly ponders if she will cook his favourite dish tonight, but for some strange reason, she feels it's wrong. _'He's not your husband anymore,'_ she berates herself. Tashigi convinces herself that cooking him dinner is already a reward in itself. She doesn't need to pamper him anymore. She doesn't _have_ to pamper him anymore.

Tashigi decides to cook them curry. It fits the rainy weather anyway.

* * *

She comes back to the kitchen after a nice, warm shower, and sees Zoro washing the dishes, which happens to be his favourite household chore (weird man), she recalls. She places her damp towel on one of the chairs' backrest and ambles to the sink, drying the dishes without his permission. He pauses to look at her, but proceeds to wash the pan after a few seconds. Tashigi allows herself a small smile just because it's been two years since they fell into this kind of routine after dinner. Sometimes Yuuhi even joins them, and is in charge of placing the dirty dishes on the sink so that Zoro can start washing them.

The aching in her chest is at it again, and if she's not so self-aware, she'd probably think she's just having acid attacks or something.

"The delivery boy called. He said the battery will have to wait 'til tomorrow because of the rain."

Tashigi takes this as her cue to stop losing herself in nostalgia.

"It's okay, I guess. You can stay the night."

Zoro nods solemnly. "I'll sleep on the couch."

She silently agrees, and once again silence visits them like an old friend.

"Let's take a look at your ankle after this, 'kay?" He mumbles as he scratches the dried curry off the pan.

Well, she's humored him already, so she may as well humor him while he's here. "'Kay."

* * *

She gives her bandaged ankle a once-over, and smiles at how expertly done it was. His first aid lessons paid off, it seems. The bandage isn't too tight that it aggravates the swelling, and it isn't too loose that she could rotate her feet perfectly. Zoro lightly pats her injured foot before he carefully sets it down on the coffee table.

The quiet atmosphere between them now isn't tensed or gloomy anymore. It even seems like they've gotten used to each other's presence already albeit their circumstance. It's almost as if they're still living together, still going to work together, still going home together, still sleeping together, and the only one missing in this almost homey picture is their daughter. It's all dreamy, and it's making her feel heady just thinking about it.

But then she remembers that she's actually the one who insisted on this kind of setup. _She shouldn't be reacting this way._

"Is it too constricting?" he asks her, eyes fixed on her bandaged foot.

Tashigi shakes her head. "It's fine. Thanks."

Zoro is about to say something, but yawns as soon as his mouth opens. She snickers.

"Someone's up way past his bedtime, I see." She kids as she slowly lifts herself up from the couch, and wincing a little when she removed her feet from the table. "I'll go fetch some pillows and a blanket so you can rest."

But he blocks her way and kneels on one knee, his back facing her. "I'll just bring you upstairs and get them myself."

Tashigi is honestly surprised with his sudden kindness, (as if he's forgotten that it was her who gave up on them first), but decides to stop being stubborn for once and let herself be taken care of by Zoro. _'Just this one night,'_ she tells herself for the nth time. She gingerly climbs on his back and his hands closed in on her thighs as he lifts her up with ease.

The lady wills everything of herself not to lean too much to his warmth that she missed greatly.

* * *

He places her on the large bed in the middle of the room before he opens the closet to retrieve a blanket and some throw pillows he can use for tonight. Tashigi adjusted herself on the bed carefully to keep her strained ankle from being aggravated.

"You know," Tashigi begins, but shakes her head. "Never mind."

Zoro only looks at her blankly, blanket and throw pillows in his arms. A small smile crosses his lips. "Good night, Tashigi."

She returns the gesture. "Good night, Zoro."

The man leaves the room, but not without turning the lights off and closing the door. When she's sure that he isn't standing by the door, Tashigi rolls over to her side and pats the empty side of the bed. She sighs heavily and tries not to cry (because if she does cry, it'll be hard to stop).

"Idiot." She tells herself as she closed her eyes and tried her best to sleep.


	6. Why Did It Have To Be This Way?

Hello!

The past days have been pretty fast (to my standards), and our internet has been sucky for God knows how long, but now, it's all fine! So I can upload again. Finally. I'm sorry for the long wait! Here's what happens next! :D

Thank you for reading and for being patient in waiting!

* * *

 **Chapter Six**

 _ **Why Did It Have to Be This Way?**_

Nami sighs after ringing the doorbell for the third time that morning. She looks at the young girl standing beside her and grins. Yuuhi grins back. She doesn't seem miffed or sad, thankfully, and she seemed to have enjoyed herself last night with the other kids at the get-together so all seems well. Nami rings the doorbell for the fourth time. Tashigi _must_ have a good excuse for letting her wait for fifteen minutes outside her home. And she musn't forget to pay her extra for overnight services.

"She might've slept really late last night," Yuuhi mumbles, her eyes fixed on the small gate. "I'm like that, too, when I sleep past eight."

Nami smiles. "Well, she did say she'll be spending the night at work. Maybe the rain stopped really late and she only got here a few hours ago or something." But she should be awake by now, considering the ringing of the doorbell's annoying and loud from inside the whole house (she knows because she's a frequent visitor). Nami narrows her eyes at the gate.

The sound of the wooden door opening catches her ears, and Nami reminds herself of what she rehearsed regarding what happened last night, and the extra pay. But Tashigi isn't the one who opened the gate and greeted them, much to her shock.

"Papi!" Yuuhi yells excitedly as she jumps in place, throwing her arms up the air to let her father pick her up.

Nami is still stunned even as Zoro picks up his daughter and hugs her tight. She quickly recovers from the surprise and clears her throat.

"What are you doing here?" she hisses, eyes narrowed at her friend.

The man shifts his attention to the woman standing at the gate. "I bought Tashigi home last night. She sprained her ankle, and couldn't go home on her own. The battery of my car's dead, too, so I'm also waiting for it to be delivered here." He adjusts his daughter in his arms as he opens the gate wider. "She's still asleep if you want to talk to her, so come inside for a bit. I already brewed some coffee."

Nami frowns and nods her head slowly as she allows herself in. Well, this is... interesting?

* * *

Tashigi opens her eyes tiredly and looks at the wall clock across the bed. All sleep and weariness in her body leave almost immediately when she realizes that Nami must've been waiting for her outside for a good thirty minutes now, because she overslept. Her hand immediately flies to the side table to reach for her phone and found a text from Nami, saying they'll be arriving at her place shortly, _thirty minutes ago_. She carefully lifts herself off the bed, sprained ankle in check, and wobbles as fast as she can downstairs.

And after the longest five minutes of just going down a flight of stairs (thanks to her injury), Tashigi is greeted with the sight of Yuuhi trying to wrap herself around her father's shoulders, and Nami sitting across the father and daughter, sipping her coffee and seemingly absorbed with whatever Zoro's talking about. Yuuhi's head turns to her direction, and with a gleeful squeal, the kid removes herself from her dad and runs to her.

"Mami!" Yuuhi stops when she spots her bandaged foot and casts her a curious look. "Who hurt you, mami?"

She steps down the last step and kneels in front of her daughter. "No one hurt mami. I tripped on my way home. I'll be fine in a week's time." She assures her daughter, and pats her head.

Zoro joins them and gives her a stern look. "You should've called me to bring you downstairs to keep your ankle from moving."

She flashes him a blank look. "Good morning to you, too, Zoro."

And Nami? Well, she's trying not to feel out of place in this picture so she clears her throat to get everyone's attention. "Good morning, Tashigi! I see you had a good night's sleep, yes?" The lady flashes her a knowing grin.

Tashigi scowls. She turns to Zoro and their daughter. "Why don't you two make breakfast for everyone? Sandwiches are okay, no need to cook them." She looks at Zoro, and the man frowns at the implication of her statement. "Yuuhi, help papi get the ingredients from the pantry, 'kay? Nami and I have things to talk about." She quickly glances at the direction of the smirking lady on the couch, her eyes narrowed. She doesn't miss Nami's silent giggle.

"Run along now," she tells Zoro and Yuuhi, waving her hand the direction of the kitchen. Zoro easily lifts their daughter up and brings the kid with him.

Tashigi limps to the couch, still frowning, but Nami doesn't seem intimidated or shaken. She still has that knowing grin on her pretty face. She slumps on the couch, and lifts her leg to elevate her sprained ankle on the coffee table.

"So I'm guessing there's going to be a rerun of your wedding anytime soon? I'll be pissed if I'm not invited."

She groans. "There's not gonna be a rerun, and Zoro's leaving as soon as his car's battery arrives." Tashigi hurriedly explains. "Anyway, thank you so much for taking care of Yuuhi. You're a gem."

Nami pats the woman on her shoulder and smiles softly. "We're friends, so no problem with that, really. Plus, you're one of those people who pays me well so, it's always a pleasure!"

Tashigi snorts in response.

* * *

Nami has long left the house, and Zoro's just about to take his leave, too, like what they've agreed upon last night. The battery arrived after breakfast, which means Zoro has no business in the house anymore. The car's already started, and both mother and daughter stand by the garage to see him off.

"Do you really have to go now, papi?"

Hearing the longing in her daughter's voice, Tashigi's heart shatters.

Zoro only looks at Yuuhi and smiles wistfully. "Papi has somewhere else to go, you know that."

The young girl pouts. "But I only saw you now, papi."

No; her heart isn't shattered—it's exploded into smithereens.

Yuuhi's face lit up as an idea came to her. "Mami," she turns to face Tashigi, smiling, "can we please go play together with papi today? I have no school today."

Tashigi crosses her arms on her chest. "You know that mami can't play because I'm injured. I need to rest."

"Then I'll take her out somewhere." Zoro suggests casually. "We can go to the park or eat snacks somewhere."

At this, the woman scowls. "And leave her alone with you? _I don't think so._ "

Upon hearing Tashigi's disapproval, Zoro's face is painted with an expression that screams 'are-you-serious?'

"Mamiiiii! Papiiiii! Please don't start fighting!" Yuuhi protests as she stomps her feet. "I just want us to play together like we used to!" And she proceeds to cry big fat tears of frustration.

* * *

She gives credit to Zoro for treating them to snacks and for buying Yuuhi the scientist kit she's been requesting her to get since her birthday. The ex-couple are now sitting beside each other, at the same bench, and the same park that they went to the first night they saw each other after two years. From afar, they can see Yuuhi playing in the sandbox with other kids that she only met a few minutes ago.

"I'm glad she got your hair." Zoro quips out of the blue, a fond smile on his lips.

Tashigi doesn't hide her snicker. "It'll be a problem if she got your hair."

"You know, I should be offended by that remark, but you have a point."

They both laugh.

"Don't you have work today?" Tashigi asks him.

Zoro shrugs his shoulders and sighs. "I told my boss I'd take the day off today because I'm with my family."

Tashigi will be lying if she denies that her stomach tumbled and her heart fluttered when Zoro referred to them as _his_ family. But then again, technically speaking, they're his _ex_ -family. She doesn't say anything.

"Hey, Zoro."

"Hm?"

"Have you..."

The man glances her way. "Have I what?"

She pauses briefly, and stutters, but decides to soldier on since she's been dying to know things about him since the first day.

"Well, we've been divorced for two years now, so..."

Zoro shifts on his seat and turns his body towards her. She has his full attention now. It's now or never. Tashigi gulps.

"Areyoudatinganyonerightnow?"

"I'm sorry?"

She sighs. "Well?"

"Well what?"

The woman groans in frustration. "Gosh, Zoro. I know you got it the first time!"

He laughs. "I'm not seeing anyone, if that's what you want to know."

She ignores the happy tumbling in her stomach.

"And you?"

Tashigi shakes her head.

"Why?"

Their question and answer portion remains hanging as Yuuhi comes running to them, beaming.

* * *

"Are you sure you're not coming home tonight, papi?"

Zoro puts Yuuhi down on the sofa. "You know papi doesn't go home here anymore."

The little girl frowns. "But you were here last night. Why can't you sleep here again?"

This time, Tashigi steps beside Zoro and pats their daughter's head. "Papi can't stay with us. You know that."

"Well, if papi can't sleep with mami, then I guess papi can sleep in my bedroom. My bed has lots of space."

The woman sighs exasperatedly and rolls her eyes. "Papi has to go now. Say goodbye."

Yuuhi's face falls but she reaches out to her father and gives him a hug. Zoro receives the gesture and squeezes her daughter's tiny frame.

"I miss you," she whispers in her father's shirt.

Tashigi doesn't miss the small smile on Zoro's face. "I miss you, too."

* * *

"It had been a fun day," Zoro mumbles as they walk through the front yard. "Thank you."

She smiles. "Yeah. It's been a while since I saw Yuuhi beaming like that." Tashigi notes. "Thank you, too."

Tashigi sees him off by the gate. He didn't park his car inside the garage since he'll be leaving anyway, and she prefers it that way. She won't be obliged to open the gates for him, and she can just close the small gate and not watch him leave. But that's not what she's doing at the moment; She's watching him leave. Zoro starts the car, then rolls down the window of the passenger seat.

"Take care." He tells her.

She smiles a little at the sweet gesture. "You, too."

* * *

 _Do you really have to go now, papi?_

Tashigi rolls over the huge bed. Sleep hasn't captured her yet, so she's plagued with thoughts about her family, the divorce, and Zoro. Seeing her daughter fuller of life than usual stirred her emotions so much that she's surprised she didn't break the whole time they were together. She could've walked out on him with Yuuhi in tow, or could've refused and firmly told Yuuhi that they can't play together anymore like the old times, but more than not being able to resist her daughter's request, Tashigi knows that in her heart of hearts, she's hoping that they'll eventually end up together again. That this whole divorce will end and they'll be a happy family once more. But instead, she lies and tells herself not to be overcome by her strong feelings because she's the one who insisted this. She's certainly not a woman who eats her words. When she says she'll do it, she will regardless.

Nevertheless, it hurts her even more. And it hurts the people she cares tons as well. But she's too stubborn for her own good. That's why Zoro's not beside her anymore.

So she spends tonight crying again, over something that's been sealed two years ago. She calls herself pathetic and drowns herself in guilt. Tomorrow morning, she'll go about her day, sweeping everything under the rug until it's time to mourn again.

* * *

I think I went overboard with the drama on this one, but tell me what you think. :D


	7. It Doesn't Have to be This Way

**Chapter Seven**

 ** _It Doesn't Have to be This Way_**

Yuuhi has long surrendered to the call of slumber, so Tashigi and Nami have their hands free from looking after the child. Tashigi did take up Nami's offer, and brought home cans of beer (for Nami) and ginger ale (for her) for tonight's "session," as Nami calls it. Said young lady has already consumed three cans of beer, and is still very much sober and attentive to what she's been telling her the moment they opened their first cans of preferred beverage.

"If I know any better, you still have a strong attachment to Zoro. Don't deny." Nami confidently states, wagging her pointing finger.

She swallows her drink first before answering. "Well, I wouldn't say attachment; I don't know. I guess I feel guilty about our circumstance?"

The other woman's eyes widen. "Guilty? Come on, girl. I know guilty, and I know in love. You're not just guilty; you're also still _in love._ You still care. Admit it."

Tashigi rolls her eyes and huffs.

"Ay," Nami shakes her head, "if you're _only_ guilty, then you wouldn't have let him be around you the past few days. Sorry would suffice, and you'd move on. But no! _You even let him take care of you when you injured your ankle._ And from what you've told me, it wasn't even his fault that happened."

"But he gave me no choice!" Tashigi retorts, placing her can of ginger ale on the coffee table with unnecessary force. She winces when the can hits the table and produces a clanging sound.

Her friend shakes her head. "Honey, you _always_ have a choice. And you chose to let him baby you because you miss it. _So much_. Don't hide it!" The teasing in her tone drips like honey, and this only makes Tashigi flush in irritation and embarrassment.

"Okay, fine! I do miss being taken care of by Zoro. But I still feel guilty. Don't invalidate that." She insists, cheeks still painted with a pretty shade of pink.

"Yeah. And you're feeling guilty enough to still care about his feelings? _You still care._ See what I'm seeing?" Nami flashes her an annoying, knowing grin before her face becomes serious. "So, Tashigi, what's stopping you?"

Said woman cocks her head to the side. "Stopping me from what?"

"From being honest with what you feel?"

The carefree atmosphere becomes somber in a matter of seconds, with much thanks to Nami's prodding. The bespectacled woman braces herself for this much-awaited girl talk.

"Nami, you do know that I'm the one who's so persistent about the divorce, right?" she begins. "What do you think would it seem like if I suddenluu change my mind about the arrangement just because he's back, and we're seeing each other at work regularly? We spent months trying to get out of marriage, and now we're here. This is what I wanted, remember?"

The young woman narrows her eyes and maintains an unimpressed look. "That's it? That's not even convincing!"

"Oh, come on, Nami! You're really hard to convince! Give me a break."

"Wrong! I'm only hard to convince _if_ my gut feelings tell me otherwise."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What _it_ 's supposed to mean."

Tashigi never wanted so much to wipe the stupid smug smirk off her friend's face until tonight.

* * *

She hears a dull thud on her desk. Tashigi's eyes immediately fly to the source of the unwelcome noise and sees a coloured plastic bag filled with sweets of various kinds.

"It's for Yuuhi. She likes those, right?" Zoro states plainly as he sits on the vacant chair in front of Tashigi's desk.

She frowns. "I thought I told them not to disturb me with anything unimportant. What did you tell our student assistant?"

Zoro frowns as well. "I'm halfway done with data gathering, thanks for asking."

Tashigi rolls her eyes and mutters a curse before turning away to face the computer once more. "Look, if you think I have time to kill, go kill time somewhere else. I'm busy."

"I know."

She picks up a bit of mirth in his tone, and she ignores something bubbling inside her even she doesn't want to acknowledge.

 _'Don't turn around, Tashigi. Don't lose this time.'_ She tells herself as she tries to focus on the content of her presentation for her next lecture.

And she does win. She hears Zoro moving in the background, the spring of his chair creaking as he stands. Tashigi briefly thinks that if this happened when they were younger, a victorious smirk would cross her lips.

"Make sure to rest your eyes and your back." Zoro tells her before he leaves.

Tashigi waits a few seconds after she hears the door close before she turns round. Her eyes widen as she sees another item beside the bag of sweets Zoro left on her desk.

 _'That… bastard.'_

After all these years, and he still remembers her favourite iced coffee.

She retrieves the bottle of iced black coffee ( _'It's still cold!'_ ), and tells herself to stop acting like a teenager in love. Or so she thinks.

* * *

"Mami! Mami!"

Tashigi stops vacuuming the carpet when she faintly hears the voice of her daughter and feels her clutch on her back pocket. She removes her mask and kneels to be in Yuuhi's eye level. "What is it, Yuuhi?"

The little girl shows her a piece of paper with drawings of what she guesses would be their house and a little self portrait in the middle drawn using wax crayons. Above it are the words happy and birthday, all written in capital letters, and pretty neatly for a girl her age. She smiles and carefully gets the paper.

"I wanted to make cards for my friends so that they'd know it'll be my birthday this weekend, and that I want them to come here and play." Yuuhi informs her, grinning from ear to ear. "I already made lots, you know."

"All by yourself? How many?"

"Hm, lots. Like 5. I also made one for Nami, too, since she's always with me when I'm alone. I'm sure my friends would also like to meet her."

Tashigi smiles wider. "That's very sweet! I'm sure Nami would love to celebrate your birthday with us. I'll tell her, then?"

Yuuhi shakes her head. "I'll just give her the invitation I made for her when she comes here on Monday. And that card isn't for her anyway."

The young lady looks at her daughter, puzzled. "Then is this for me, then? But I already live here."

The little girl sighs ( _'So cute,'_ Tashigi thinks). "It's also not for you. It's for dad. He's around the area, right? I want you to give it to him because I want him to celebrate with us, too. Even if he's not gonna go home here anymore."

She doesn't miss the sadness in her daughter's tone. She feels her chest constrict.

* * *

"Am I… a horrible person?"

Miss Robin straightens her back and flashes her a curious look. "What makes you say that?"

Tashigi exhales heavily as she clutches the hem of her blouse. "Well, I've been… conflicted… about this whole… thing. You know what I'm saying, right?"

Her counsellor only nods her head once and smiles. "Go on."

"As I thought; Having Zoro around the area after not being here for a long while isn't making things easier for me, or Yuuhi. I'd like to think that my daughter might be handling this matter more maturely than I do, or maybe she's just, I don't know, understanding of me, I guess?" she narrates, "ah! What am I saying? I'm just going around in circles. I'm sorry!"

Miss Robin raises her hand. "You're just being anxious. Calm yourself then maybe you can talk more clearly."

Tashigi closes her eyes, breaths deeply, and counts to ten (like she was told in the past), but she doesn't speak immediately.

"Okay. I think I'm okay now."

The older woman gives her a warm smile. "Where do you want to start?"

* * *

Tashigi is about to leave the empty church after spending a bit of time clearing her head (and complaining again to God) after another counselling session when she spots Zoro running again.

 _'Just like before, huh?'_ she snorts. This time she makes sure she doesn't hit his chest or fall or do something stupid in front of him.

"You were troubled again?" Zoro points his thumb on the direction of the small church they met not so long ago.

She flashes him a wistful smile. "I'm always troubled, Zoro, and you of all people should know that." Tashigi opens her bag and fishes for something. "Ah yes. I wasn't able to hand something to you earlier, so I'm considering this as my lucky day."

Her nose crinkles when she sees her daughter's handmade invitation crumpled on the edges from being inside her bag for too long. She extends her hand to Zoro. "Here. Yuuhi told me to give you this."

For a brief moment, she sees a faint smile on his face and traces of hopefulness in his eyes, then it was gone. She watches as he reads the back of the paper.

"I see. I'm glad." He mumbles, smiling ever so little. "Please tell Yuuhi that I'll be there this weekend," he stops, and looks at her, "but… will you be okay with me around?"

Tashigi allows herself to smirk. "You're asking me that? It's Yuuhi's party. She wants you there. You know that it'll make me happy if she's happy."

Somehow the happiness in Zoro's face seems to have decreased at her response. Or is she overthinking again?

The young man folds the piece of paper. "Are you on your way home now?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm… already done with everything for the day." She tells him without looking at him.

"'Kay. I'll see you home, then." He declares as if he knows that she won't refuse him this time.

And he's right. She doesn't refuse. But she still made sure that they aren't walking too close to make people think that things are getting better on their side of the world.

* * *

I'm really sorry for the long wait! If there are still some readers waiting for this to be updated, and if there are, thank you so much for your patience! :D The truth is, I almost gave up on writing fan fiction entirely since I've been pretty busy with work (I managed to finish my first year at work, and it wasn't an easy ride. Nonetheless it was fun!), but I don't think I'd be able to die properly without finishing any of the stories I've posted here (not that I'll be dying soon anyway). Aside from that, I did say I'd want to finish my stories here, and so I'm back, though I'm not sure if it'll be as frequent as a year ago.

And I'm sorry that this chapter's a little shorter than usual. (-_-;)


	8. This is Silly Silly I Tell You

This is a little longer than the previous chapter. We're almost done, too. :)

* * *

 **Chapter Eight**

 **This is Silly. Silly, I Tell You**

"Is that the last pair of the utensils from earlier?" Tashigi asks Nami as they cleaned up after the kids who just left the house an hour ago.

"Yup," she affirms, placing the freshly wiped plates on the cupboard. "Finally the kids are gone now."

Tashigi chuckles. "Yeah. The house is quiet again. Good thing they didn't break anything."

"Well, Yuuhi is pretty strict to her friends about running around the house. I wonder where she got that."

She lets the teasing slide this time. Nami is helping her put the house in order, after all.

"Anyway, it's nice to see that Zoro hasn't lost his touch when it comes to kids."

Tashigi raises an eyebrow. "When it comes to kids, huh? I never thought he'd be able to handle a handful of them."

Nami laughs. "I totally understand where you're coming from. But being a friend of his for a long time, I've seen how kids are just naturally drawn to him in spite of how he looks. He gives off a protective feel, after all."

"That's very interesting." The bespectacled woman quips as she wipes the excess soap in the sink.

"You tell me! Growing up, Genzo wasn't very happy when I hung out with other boys, but it's a bit different with Zoro. He isn't happy, but he feels a little relieved when it's with Zoro." Nami narrates as she sits on one of the chairs inside the kitchen. "I'm sure you felt the same way whenever you're around him."

She almost hears the smile in her friend's voice. She nods slightly.

Nami lets out a sigh. "Will you give him another chance?"

Tashigi nearly drops the sponge she's using as she turns round to look at Nami. "W-What are you saying?"

Her friends brows furrow, marring her pretty face. "Tashigi, I don't have to spell it out for you, do I? You know what I'm saying. You're smart."

She turns her back to the young lady and proceeds to clean the sink again. "Well, I've… I haven't thought that far, I guess?"

She hears Nami hit the table with her fist and she stiffens. It's not all the time that she gets to see Nami angry. Annoyed, yes, but not angry.

"Tashigi, if you need to be reminded, Zoro's my friend, too, and a dear one at that. I think it's unfair that you're stringing him along!"

Stringing him along? Is that what she's been doing? Certainly that's not what she's been doing to him. Or is she wrong?

But Nami's statement really surprised her. "Look, I'm just doing this because Yuuhi requested if she could see him on her birthday—"

"That's not what I mean!"

Tashigi is lying if she will say she's not a bit terrified at the sight of her angry friend.

"I know you to be reasonable, but this—this has gone too far." Nami slumps on her seat and shakes her head. "If you're not going to let him in your life again, then don't do this to Zoro anymore."

To be honest, Tashigi is expecting that Nami would grip her shoulders and shake her violently to make her point, but she's a little relieved that her friend has somehow calmed down. She lets out the breath she's been holding.

"I didn't say anything about letting him in my life again, if my memory serves me right. And I told you I'm only doing this because Yuuhi wants to see him again. That's all."

Nami keeps her unsettled expression as she stares at Tashigi for a few more seconds before she stands and makes her way out of the kitchen. Tashigi only realizes that her muscles had been tensed the entire exchange when her shoulders drop and her breathing evens. But Nami stops and turns to her before exiting.

"I'm sorry if I made you upset about this, and I'm sorry if I sounded a little disrespectful. I know you're older by a few years, but let me tell you this, as both your and Zoro's friend: you have to stop running away from this at some point because you're not as young as you think are."

She only nods and hums in agreement. "I know that."

* * *

She finds her daughter in her bedroom, curled in fetal position beside the sleeping form of Zoro on her not-so-tiny bed.

The last time she's seen this same scenario was about two years ago, when their marriage was already rocky, but they were still pretty much in good terms. Every afternoon of almost every weekend, when Zoro's not tied up with research, Yuuhi would ask her dad to play with her until both of them are tired from being outside and would retreat to Yuuhi's room (or the living room when they were too tired to even go upstairs) for some afternoon nap. She would surprise them with afternoon snacks (onigiri and some leftovers from breakfast if there was) by the time they both wake up. And then they would all go to the living room to spend some time watching Yuuhi's favourite noontime shows or just hang around together until it's time for dinner.

That was before. Now is different.

She doesn't realize that Zoro has already woken up. When she does notice him, he's already sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't notice that I've stayed up later than I intended. Yuuhi wanted to play a little more." He says sleepily. She watches as he carefully leaves the bed to make sure that Yuuhi doesn't wake up. "She's still as energetic as I remembered her to be." He says with a fond smile. "Have you ever considered enrolling her for some summer sports training or something?"

Tashigi doesn't reply immediately, but only watches her daughter sleeping soundly. She meets his eyes, face blank of emotions. "Are you leaving now?"

The young man looks one more time at his daughter. "It'll be easier to leave if she's not up." He looks at her once more and smiles a little. "Besides, you also look tired after the party. I'll leave you to rest, too."

She's not sure if her mind is straight and well that moment, but it registered a beat later that her fingers latched on the end of his shirt when he passed by her. Tashigi immediately removes her hand in shock and covers her mouth. _'Ah, shit!'_

Zoro's probably just as startled as she is, too. "W-What?"

The sound of her name becomes her cue to get herself together to save her face while she still can. "N-Nothing. Take care on your way home."

 _'Should I see him off?'_

Zoro curtly nods. Is that disappointment written on his face? She wonders. "You take care of yourself, too."

This time she really reaches out and grabs the back of his shirt and smiles when he looks at her from his shoulder.

"And thank you for making Yuuhi happy on her birthday."

The last thing that her mind registers before sleeping that night was the tender smile on her ex-husband's face.

* * *

It's almost been a month since Nami argued with her, and the last month she'd seen Zoro, too. Nami isn't the type that holds grudges, so things were back to how it was between them by the time Monday arrived. Zoro, on the other hand, though they didn't get into fight, seems to be tied up with much research work because even she hasn't seen him around campus. Maybe she's seen him once or twice, but only because his hair can be spotted easily even in the sea of people. Other than that, he hasn't dropped by her cubicle like he did one time, or even sent her a message asking how Yuuhi's doing and the like.

She quickly tells herself that it isn't because she misses his presence. It's only because she had almost— _almost—_ gotten used to his presence. That's all.

"You could text him to meet up or something," Nami tells her one time, but Tashigi thinks that's not how it's supposed to be. They are divorced, and if anything, they really shouldn't have anything to do with each other as much as possible since they are out of each other's lives (supposedly). But then it's become even more complex now that he's back, and without warning.

Tashigi grumbles as thunder reached her ears. Of all the times to go overtime, it has to be on the day where it's been reported that the chances of rainfall is around 80%-90%. She usually takes this with a stride, but with the rainfall this evening, her umbrella will only be put to shame if she even tries to commute on her way home.

 _'I guess it's time to text Nami to stay with Yuuhi a little longer.'_ It also means she has to have her overtime pay ready, too.

Tashigi jumps in shock when she feels a presence beside her and yells when she sees Zoro. "Don't just stand beside someone like that!"

She doesn't know if she's happy to see him after almost a month or if she wants to punch him in the face after not seeing him for a month.

Zoro opens his umbrella. "Do you need a ride home?"

She looks at her umbrella and the deluge, then back to Zoro. "I guess I'll just wait for the rain to stop. If it will even stop." She mumbles the last part.

"But Yuuhi will be left alone." Zoro states the obvious. "What if something happens and you're still here?"

She shakes her head. "Nami's with her. She babysits Yuuhi whenever I couldn't be home early."

Somehow, Zoro still looks uneasy at that thought. Tashigi sighs.

"Don't worry; Nami's taken care of her very well. Nothing's gonna happen to Yuuhi, if that's what you're worried about."

He's still frowning. "But what about you? The cafeteria's closed already, and there's no one here anymore."

She allows herself to laugh a little. "Do you think this is the first time this ever happened to me? Look, Zoro, you can go ahead. I can manage."

For the first time that evening, she sees him giving her a stern look. "That's what you always say even when you're really in a pinch."

 _'What is this punk doing?'_ "Zoro, I'm not _that_ young anymore, you know. I know I _can_ manage. Go home now before I push you in your car and watch you leave to make sure you did head home."

Zoro sighs heavily. "You see, Tashigi, this is your problem; you don't let anyone help you because you're too caught up with proving that you can do so much! It's… you're wrong, you know!"

They haven't seen each other for almost a month, and when they do, the first things they do is fight.

"But look how I've been doing while you were gone! Yuuhi's still okay, and I'm able to hold myself on my own. I _can_ manage. I _have_ managed. Now, if you can't accept the fact that I am able to do things on _my own_ , then you aren't any different from all those chauvinistic bastards out there!"

She braces herself for any physical contact that may occur because that's how it usually ends up after a few exchange of heated words. Zoro would grab her by the shoulders or by her arms and his grip would tighten as he tries to prove his point. Sometimes she'd throw a fist or two on his chest as she puts her feelings into words. It scared her at first, until it's become a routine of them fighting, and she feels like it's a natural thing for them to do, just as waking up in the morning, going to work after dropping off their daughter to school, and mechanically kissing each other goodbye as they head for their respective workplaces.

But there aren't any hands on her shoulders or her arms. Instead, she sees the young man trying to contain his anger (hand on his chest, and breathing deeply as his eyes are closed).

An unwelcome series of flashbacks from the first time they've met after they separated due to the divorce up to the recent events that they spent together unwillingly (Tashigi) and unplanned (Zoro and Tashigi) occupied her already busy mind.

Zoro has changed. A lot.

Whatever happened to those two years that they haven't seen or heard from each other might've been the reason. He's still quiet and his presence still intimidated most people, but he's grown to be expressive, and during the times that she did allow him to be around Yuuhi (in her watch, of course), he's also become sensitive to her thoughts ("Is it really okay for me to be here?", "Thank you for letting me see our daughter."). And now this.

This isn't the Zoro that she's used to, she admits. But she acknowledges it in a good way.

And what about her? What happened to her in the two years that they weren't husband and wife?

* * *

 _"Do you have time today? Let's talk."_ Before regret takes over, Tashigi presses the send button.

It's been a while since she's felt this anxious to send a message. It's also been a while since she's felt a this anxious over receiving a reply. _'Am I being too forward?'_

In three seconds, her phone vibrates on her hand, and she sees his message.

 _"I'll go home after 4. Will you be available around that time?"_

She scans her organizer to check if she has anything scheduled during the late afternoon before responding. _"I'm okay with that. Let's meet at the park where we brought Yuuhi to play."_

She arrives thirty minutes earlier for two reasons: one, she already has her schedule free around three that afternoon, and two, she deems it necessary to prepare herself mentally and emotionally before they finally sit down and talk things over—about her feelings, about his feelings, about Yuuhi, about their setup, about well, the future. Because Nami is correct when she scolded her and reminded her that she has to stop running away at some point. And they both have to settle the score—put a lid to this jar of questions and uncertainty.

Tashigi pauses as she lightly pats her cheeks with both hands.

This is important. This talk has to happen soon enough or she might not be able to sleep as soundly for as long as she lived.


	9. It'll Be Fine Eventually

**Chapter Nine**

 **It'll Be Fine. Eventually**

She hears heavy footsteps coming from behind. As it gets louder, she begins to catch the sound of his breathing and the scent of his laundry detergent as it reeked from his dress shirt. Tashigi waits for him to sit beside her before she talks.

"Why did you need to talk?" But he beats her to it.

Zoro eases himself on the same bench that she's seated, and she notes the space (approximately an arm length) he left between them, as if testing if she's even fine with him sitting this close. He's become this considerate, as well. She allows herself to smile at his gesture.

But this has dragged on for so long, she thinks.

"Zoro, what do you really think about our situation?"

He flashes her a startled look. "The divorce, you mean?"

She nods. "What do you think about it?"

She watches as Zoro's face turned from expressionless to confused, then it settled with the pensive look she knows very well each time they talked about plans when they were still married. She also knows not to bother him in this state because it really means that he's thinking deeply and considerately. Rushing him for a response will only result to another fight.

 _'So it's also crossed his mind several times, huh?'_ she assumes as she waits for the young man to speak.

When he does reply, Zoro only stared at the view of the bay before them.

"I… was mad for the first few months when we separated," he begins, "and I… went on an alcohol binge that I almost got myself killed with alcohol poisoning, which is a surprise since I'm good at holding my alcohol. Guess it was _that_ bad. Had Sanji been absent that time, I'd have died earlier than I intend to. But that's besides the point." He laughs, but it's devoid of humour.

He clears his throat first before he continues. "I know you explained the reasons why calling it quits was the best way to go if we wanted to make everything work, and I thought I'd understand them all in time. But the truth is, I don't, and I still don't understand most of the reasons. I just decided that if you're so adamant about letting go, then be it." Zoro finally spares a look her way, and Tashigi sees that he doesn't look happy. "That's what I thought."

Pain hits her squarely in the chest as she registers the young man's gloomy expression. "During that time, I really hated you when you told me to let go of the university's offer, and even thought you were envious," she sighs heavily, "I actually took the job out of spite. Pretty immature, huh?"

The young man's head snaps to his right. "You did? I thought you took it because you really wanted it so bad."

"I really do! But about a small percentage of why it made me want to really say yes to the offer was to prove you that I am capable."

"And then that's when things turned more sour." Zoro quips and clicks his tongue.

She hums in agreement. "I assumed that each time you'd call me out for something, you were just waiting for me to screw up so that you can goad to my face that you were right all along, that I should've listened to you like a good wife should." She laughs listlessly, it almost sounds contrived. "Right now, I'm not so much proud of it. It wasn't an adult thing to do, obviously."

Zoro huffs. "Your pride rides very high most times, you know."

"I guess it does." Tashigi agrees solemnly. "That's why things turned south between us."

Silence descends upon them for a short while.

"I really thought it was for the best," Tashigi speaks, and she tries to keep her tone level even if she's about to cry, "I mean, we were fighting frequently over assumptions than we used to. Conflict is a sign of a healthy relationship, but too much fighting is a red flag already. Naturally, that was the logical solution I could come up with. For our sanity. For my sanity."

"But have you ever considered how our divorce would affect me? What about Yuuhi?" Zoro's voice drops, sounding a little somber.

She frowns as she tucks a bit of her hair behind her ear. "Yuuhi had it pretty bad the first few weeks, you know. And if it helps you feel better, I couldn't sleep as easily as I could even on those days that work was demanding."

Zoro shakes his head. She sighs loudly.

"I know I didn't consult you about it when I first filed our divorce papers, and truth to be told, I didn't really care much about anyone anymore but myself when I decided to take that leap. I'm sorry I was such an asshole back then."

This time, Zoro manages to chuckle lightly. "We were both assholes back then. As much as that hurts to admit, I also had times when I was being an awful husband to you. Like when I didn't properly explain what I really mean when I told you not to take the job. What I wanted was for you to trust me that time."

"That's… true," she agrees almost immediately. "But you weren't an awful father to Yuuhi. Except maybe when you didn't get in touch with us during your absence to even ask how she's doing."

"I'm… sorry about that. And if it will also help you sleep better at night, I couldn't sleep most nights thinking about how I'm going to face Yuuhi after leaving and not reaching out to you. Even if it's to check and see if she's faring well or something."

Tashigi doesn't hide the wistful smile on her lips as she meets Zoro's eyes. "That honestly makes me feel a little better about myself."

Zoro only returns the gesture. "I'm really sorry it's come to this."

"No. It's come to this only because I let it come to this. You only did what you thought would make things easier between us."

"But I had a choice to stop you, and I didn't. It's not your fault."

Tashigi looks at him sternly and crosses her arms on her chest. "I just told you, didn't I? I didn't consult you about this when I filed for our divorce. It was me."

She feels a weight on her knee and sees Zoro's hand. His touch was heavy, but it doesn't carry hate at all.

"Please tell me we're not going to argue over this, too."

Tashigi looks alternately between his eyes and his hand. "But Zoro—"

"Listen, Tashigi," he says strictly as his hand tightens a bit on her knee. "You may have been the first one to do something, but I also had a choice to stop it. If I only thought things through, and not assumed that this was indeed for the best, then maybe we'd still be together." His hand finally leaves her knee. "I guess we can say that we were both to blame that this even happened."

The young lady nods slowly. It does make sense, after all.

"I'm sorry I didn't stop you." He says it close to a whisper.

Tashigi shakes her head. "I didn't expect you to, but it isn't because you've given up like I did or that I didn't trust you or anything. I guess I just knew that you'd ride this out just because I was so insistent about it." She reaches out, but she only touches the tip of his knee that is close to the concrete bench. "I'm sorry I gave up on our relationship that time. I'm glad we were finally able to talk about this."

She gasps when two hands grabbed hers, enveloping it with the familiar warmth she's grown accustomed to way back.

"Me too," Zoro mumbles, and she almost misses it because she's more focused with the warmth covering her hands. She can't take it.

"And I missed you."

Without much thinking, Tashigi lets go of the tears that had been waiting to cascade down her gloomy face since they started talking.

* * *

She doesn't know what to feel or what to say even after talking with Zoro. She's actually surprised that it didn't go as she expected (arguing, blaming, and one leaves storming out of the park without even resolving anything), but she'd take it over the dramatic scene her head concocted before this day came.

She now finds herself at the passenger seat of Zoro's car, but they're not yet heading home this time. What should have been a heartfelt moment by the park ended so soon just because Tashigi's stomach grumbled in protest. She suddenly remembers that anticipating their talk actually kept her from eating a decent meal for lunch. So now they're off for some ramen around the area.

Tashigi can still feel the warmth of her cheeks (from embarrassment), much to her chagrin.

"Come on, it's not the first time I heard your stomach grumble. I've heard it more than a thousand times already." Zoro teases.

"You're not helping, you know," she mutters, "and it had to happen when the mood had become a little lighter."

The young man lets out a snicker. "But wouldn't it be more embarrassing if it happened when we were being all dramatic? That would really ruin the mood, too."

Tashigi only snorts and rolls her eyes.

The space between them isn't as pronounced as it was at the park. Zoro is seated on her right, and is only a few inches away—enough to allow her head to rest comfortably on his shoulder, and to let his head rest on top of hers. But not this time, she quickly scolds herself—as they both wait for their orders to arrive.

Perhaps when she's ready, and he is too, then she'd be able to do that for as much as she wants to.

* * *

"What do you think about people who can't seem to make up their minds?"

Miss Robin cocks her head to the side. "Pardon me?"

"Well, don't you think they're irresponsible for being indecisive?" Tashigi finally looks up from staring at the floor for the first ten minutes of their session. "I mean, there's always a logical choice between options, but they still can't make up a decision."

"Rather than irresponsible, maybe they are deliberative." Her counsellor remarks, then straightens her back. "What is going inside your head?"

The young lady breathes out and braces herself for some story telling. "I've been thinking about how the divorce may not be the most logical solution to my dying marriage back then."

The older woman settles herself comfortably on her office chair and nods to tell her that she's ready to listen.

Tashigi claps her hand before speaking. "You've probably noticed that when things get rough for me, I react almost immediately without much thought. I'm rash, as one would call it, and what happened back then probably was caused by my rashness. I didn't even give him the time to air out his thoughts about legally separating."

She looks at her counsellor, as if waiting for her approval to continue. Miss Robin only smiles reassuringly.

"I honestly thought things would be much better if we're not together anymore. I did think about how this divorce could hurt Yuuhi, but for the most part, it's just because I couldn't take it anymore. So I called it quits. And now, here we are.

"Zoro's arrival opened up so many wounds that haven't matured to scars yet, and it confused me so much that I began to doubt if I made the right choice. I guess I haven't really been over the whole break up," she pauses to let out a humorless chuckle. "I mean, if I were, I probably wouldn't have stayed single for two years, right? Divorced individuals who meet others eventually remarry when they can. I haven't."

"But didn't you say during our previous sessions that marriage hasn't really crossed your mind until Zoro?" The older woman interrupts, but without raising her hand to indicate her turn to speak.

Tashigi rubs her chin with her index finger. "That's true. I didn't really see myself as marriage material even up to now. Which I guess is the reason why I even thought about getting a divorce." She lets out an exasperated breath. "This is becoming more convoluted."

"You did say so yourself; one's understanding of life tends to be complicated." Miss Robin says almost quietly. "Would you like to proceed?"

The young lady nods curtly and psyches herself to go on with her narration.

"Those things aside, the divorce also made me see and realize things I wouldn't have noticed if it didn't push through. Like how important family is to me, and how difficult it is to raise a child as a single parent. I've to admit that I took it lightly, and didn't see how it'll affect my work and my daughter. And it made me sad each time I'd chance upon Yuuhi watching her friends play with their dads during family events at school. More than that, I also realized that, in spite of the things that I misunderstood about Zoro, he is probably the only one I'd marry." She feels her cheeks flush an angry red when she hears her honest thoughts. _'I can't believe I said that.'_

Miss Robin inclines a little forward from her seat. "What are you thinking right now, Tashigi?"

She swallows the lump in her throat. "Am I… a horrible person if I decide to change my mind this time?"

"That question," her counsellor begins, "is something only you can answer."


	10. Every Story Has to End

**Chapter Ten**

 **Every Story Has to End. But It Has to Begin First.**

She's thought about this carefully. Her parents may not get her decision this time, but she figures they'll eventually understand. Her friends, too, might think she's only setting up herself for more trouble, but Nami is a different story. She just coolly told her to not forget about sending her a wedding invite, and that she's expecting to be part of the entourage this time. And that she's right all this time. That girl.

Yuuhi is excited with the prospect of having her father around just like the old times. Her eyes were full of hope and the squeal she let out when she talked to him about the possibility of her parents getting back together is enough to trump what could be negative responses to her decision.

She's also thought about things like, 'what if it doesn't work after all?', 'what if this is also another mistake?', and even if, 'what if I'm only acting out based on my current feelings again?' However, Tashigi decided to be a little optimistic this time. Because this time, she knows she's grown.

She's very much learned her lesson.

She's also thought about how to open this conversation with her ex-husband. After their surprisingly calm talk by the bay two weeks ago, they have started talking casually again, and there has been a few times that Zoro has dropped her off to her house after work. In those few times, she'd cook him dinner, and Yuuhi would help him with the dishes, but she keeps herself from cooking his favourite dinner even up to this point. She has to be sure about something or she'll end up hurting herself, and those two even more.

He may have changed in those two years, but what's telling her that his feelings hasn't changed? What if this is all just obligation? What if he's only being nice because of the guilt that came with being absent for two years?

 _'But what if he really wants to make things right this time?'_ is actually the loudest in her head of them all.

Tashigi picks the quiet spot where they usually stop to rest after a round of jogging around town. It's a nice, semi-secluded spot that's only a few meters away from the park. The place isn't overlooking, but it provides a nice view of the bay especially during summer.

Surely, she hopes, he still remembers this place.

"I'm sorry, I'm late." Zoro apologizes as soon as he stands before Tashigi. The young lady had brought out a book along with her so waiting has become a little less painful to her butt.

She looks up and meets his eyes and exhales. "You got lost, didn't you?"

He doesn't need to reply at all. He scratches his nape as he looks at anything but her face because she's right. Tashigi only motions for him to sit beside her, smiling.

He returns the gesture as he settles beside her. This time, Tashigi notices, the inches between them are a tad closer, enough for her to smell his freshly washed shirt and the menthol from his shampoo.

"I'm glad you could spare me some time." She mumbles as she tucks her book inside her bag. "I thought you guys are almost on the last stretch of data gathering. That's pretty hectic."

He shakes his head. "I asked Koshino-san if I could take today off. I did go overtime yesterday when you told me you wanted to see me today."

If her eyes aren't lying, Tashigi spots a faint pink staining his cheeks. She's… touched, if anything. To think Zoro will actually spare some of his time for her.

Did this ever happen before?

"Yuuhi's not here, is she?" Zoro asks as he cranes his neck left and right to look for signs of their daughter's presence.

"No. She'll be coming home this evening after sleeping over at her classmate's house." She tells him. "They'll bring her home."

"I see." Zoro mumbles as he stares ahead. "Well, for what reason did you call me for?"

Tashigi tucks a bit of her hair behind her ear and exhales. "Well, there's something I need to talk to you about. It's been bothering me for quite some time now."

The young man finally looks at her once more, concern painted on his usually serious face.

 _'There's no turning back anymore,'_ she psyches herself.

"Zoro," she begins (she hopes he doesn't notice the slight trembling in her voice), "what do you think about starting over again?"

* * *

Yuuhi's finally retired to her room for the night. It's a surprise that she still has so much energy left after spending time at a friend's house for almost a day, but Tashigi guesses any kid would expend as much energy they need to spend more hours with a parent that they don't regularly see. Zoro has volunteered to put their daughter to rest as she busies herself tidying up in the living room after the father and daughter. It's amazing how only two people can mess up a room in a span of two hours. It's even more amazing that at his age, Zoro can still catch up to their daughter's energy. Not that thirty's very old already.

She hears him descend. Tashigi places the last of the throw pillows on the couch and flops unceremoniously. Zoro joins her, still keeping the friendly distance between them. She allows herself to smile fondly at him for the first time since they've seen each other.

"I've… thought about it. Starting over?" Zoro opens up. He speaks without looking at her, a pensive look crossing his face. He glances and smiles a little before speaking. "I'd like that, too."

It is Tashigi who closes the space between them, but not to rest her head on his shoulder, or to smell his scent that she (secretly) misses, but to hold him close—as she pleases—and to hide her teary eyes. He feels his arms circling round her back—tight, but so tight to hurt her. She relaxes under his touch.

"I'm sorry for thinking only about myself." She whispers on his shoulder. She tries to keep her tears from falling or it won't stop.

Zoro only tightens his embrace and she feels him nuzzling the top of her head. "I'm sorry for just leaving."

* * *

Tashigi realizes that between the two of them, it's actually Zoro who's more sensible. Or at least patient.

For one, she acknowledges that she has a tendency to react—not respond—to things according to how it affects her at the moment. It's a different case for Zoro, she now learns. Her attempts to get them back together and to make their relationship work as if the two years of separation is only a dream made her see just how much she needs to work on her patience considering she deals with various types of people (young adults to be exact) on a regular basis at work.

What Zoro means—or at least what he understands—about 'starting over' is working his way up from ground zero. "I'm going to woo you, and please you as I should've done way back," is what he means. He is dead set on courting her. Properly, this time.

So Tashigi always comes to the faculty office with the scent of freshly brewed coffee permeating her area, and Zoro sitting on the other chair inside her cubicle. He also brings her bread, and when she's not busy with morning classes, they spend a bit of time eating breakfast together at the faculty lounge. This, of course, doesn't go unnoticed by her colleagues who she'd seldom see trying to mask their curiosity, shock, and even giddiness with indifference and nonchalance. Her boss, Smoker, who also knows about her divorce, doesn't ask her about it even when he's seen Zoro around her more frequently. She figures, as long as she gets her job done and Smoker is pleased with her performance, then her boss has nothing to worry about.

"Hina sees that spring is coming to Tashigi's life," her other superior states as she passed by her cubicle one busy afternoon. Tashigi briefly looks up from the book she's reading and spots Hina sporting a small smile on her pretty face. "Hina is pleased."

There are times when Zoro brings her home, too, and this time, she's not reluctant. She also lets him stay for dinner and an hour or two more so that he can spend some time with Yuuhi. He tries to help their daughter with her homework, but it always ends up with her troubleshooting everything in the last minute (but he's really good with the projects, though. Then again, Zoro's always been good with his hands, she remembers). She appreciates the effort. Yuuhi is even more pleased since she gets to see her dad for longer periods of time. It's been a while since she saw her beam and glow like she expects kids to look like around her age, and she admits that she's a little jealous of Zoro because she hasn't seen the little one that cheery when it's just the two of them.

They put Yuuhi to bed on most nights, when she's not cleaning the living room, or when he's not leaving earlier because of an early meeting with Koshiro. They don't read stories because Yuuhi takes after her father's sleeping habits. They spend a few minutes watching her ease into sleep, as her eyes flutter and her lips a bit upturned to a weak smile. Zoro once tells her that he's happy she didn't get his resting face at all. Tashigi agrees.

They both descend the stairs after waiting for a few more seconds to watch their daughter sleep. On nights like this, she sees him off when he leaves, tells him to take care, and waits until his car disappears from her vision before she goes back inside.

But this time she tugs the back of his dress shirt. The young man turns to face her, looking puzzled.

"This used to be your home, too, you know," she whispers. The beating in her chest becomes erratic because she knows what she's saying and she means it.

She doesn't wait for him to say anything. She doesn't _want_ to wait for him to say anything. The young woman all but throws herself to her ex-husband's form to close the gap between them. It's awkward, but only because of the height difference, and because she settles for a tiptoe instead of wrapping her arms around his neck for easier reach. She feels his hands circling round her waist, and stops midway because he gently pushes her away. The action's almost like a n ice-cold shower.

"I know that," he says it so quietly she almost doesn't hear it. His hands transfer to her shoulders and he firmly plants it there, as if he's making sure she doesn't do anything funny after what just happened. "Which means this isn't my home _yet_."

Tashigi frowns at his sudden modesty. He's certainly seen it all, heard it all, tasted it all—what's with this sudden modesty?

She allows herself some room to be honest. To hell with being mature.

"It's not like we haven't done this before. In fact, we've done _so much more_."

It nettles her that Zoro only laughs at her frustration. What? So he's the better one now in this relationship? Seriously, what happened to him in the two years of separation? So mean.

It's only when he's sure that the laughing has subsided when he begins to talk.

"Look, Tashigi; this is just as hard for me as it is for you. I know very well what else we've done aside from kissing," he pauses and blushes uncharacteristically (which is endearing, Tashigi muses), then clears his throat. "Anyway, we're not husband and wife _yet_. Right now, we're exes, and I'm here trying to get on your good side—properly this time—and knowing you, you'd probably stop in the middle of the action to ask if it's okay to really have sex when we're technically not husband and wife anymore."

She's floored. She opens her mouth to say something, then stops and shakes her head. Tashigi touches her cheeks and it's warm from embarrassment of being found out. She's probably a pretty shade of pink all over.

"I'm not going to do that," she mutters, and as much as she tries to avoid it, she looks at Zoro's eyes, "Am I?"

Zoro only laughs.

(Her attempt to get him to sleep with her again after two years fails this time.)

* * *

He tells her on his last week in the university that he'll be going back to his original workplace, which is an hour away from this place. He tells her the probability that they may not have that much time to spend as a couple because they won't be seeing each other frequently. She assures him that she's fine, and that she'll be fine in his absence. But he assures her that he'll make time for her, and for their daughter, too. She tells him she'll wait for him, and it pacifies the anxiety that's been building up inside him.

For the first time, Tashigi and Yuuhi pay a visit to Zoro's temporary lodging—a quaint studio not far from the university—which Koshiro shouldered as part of their agreement. Mother, daughter, and Nami drop by to help him pack his stuff since he'll be coming back to wherever he disappeared to last two years. The couple is left on their own as Nami and Yuuhi left to look for lunch (Nami doesn't forget to wink at Tashigi before they set off. She responds with a scowl).

They are seated on the floor of his temporary bedroom, Tashigi on the left, and Zoro on the right, as they sorted out his clothes and placed them neatly inside the stroller bags he brought with him on this not-so-short trip.

"Come to think of it, we never talked about what happened to you two years ago," the young lady begins as she folds his clothes expertly. "Where did you stay?"

Zoro hands her an empty stroller bag. "Sanji allowed me to stay over his place for a week until I found a small unit that's only a walking distance from his house."

She snorts. "You actually went to his place?"

He shakes his head. "He happened to spot me drinking some sake on some stall and saw the luggage. He pieced the situation easily, that bastard."

"I wouldn't be surprised; Sanji's a lot more perceptive than people think. That's very nice of him."

Zoro grunts in agreement. "He even sends me food to last me a day when he found out how bad I was in the kitchen."

She laughs, slaps his arm, and rests her cheek on his shoulder. "I have to thank that guy someday."

"During those times, living alone again and having more time to think clearly, I did realize things about us and myself."

Tashigi makes sure that, even while she's busy helping him clear out his things, she listens well because it's not always that Zoro willingly speaks his mind without much prodding from her (because Zoro is generally reserved). This is a new side to him, she notes with much gladness. She waits for him to speak.

"One, I was surprisingly not overcome with sudden helplessness after living with you guys and then living on my own the next. After all, I've managed on my own prior to our marriage. But while I am sure that I can be alone for as long as I wanted to, I," he pauses, and the young woman sees him scratching his cheek as an offending shade of red taints his cheek, "…don't want to. Or at least, I choose not to."

She's tempted to retort about how modest he's suddenly become, but she feels that it'll ruin the moment. So Tashigi bites her tongue instead.

Their eyes meet, and Tashigi can't help but flash a lopsided smile. His brows furrow and he frowns. "You're making fun of me, aren't you?"

The small snicker that escapes her mouth betrays her even before she could think of what to say. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm not just used to you speaking your mind so openly. Remember how it used to be one of the topics we argue about?"

His frown deepens. "Well, I still have trouble trying to be more expressive, you know."

"Then I guess we'll work on that." This time, she thinks, they'll really work on that, and many other things.

And so restarts the story about love discovered, love ignited, love forgotten, love abandoned, and love rekindled.

* * *

And so we've reached the final chapter after a period of unintended hiatus. I'm so happy that I managed to complete this story just because I haven't really completed most of my stories here (and from my old account, too) yet. Thank you so much for following, and listing this as part of your favourite stories here. Let's hope we get to see some ZoTash interactions in the manga/anime (whichever you subscribe to) anytime soon, too. :D

It's been really challenging to not make this as sappy or as cheesy, but I can't really say if I didn't fail on that part. I mean, there were parts of the story that made me cringe writing about it (hahaha). Drama is fun to write, but really heavy for me. I'll probably stick to humor, or any genre that doesn't include much drama (unless it can't be avoided).

Thank you once again! :D


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